March 25, 2005

Love & dating...34

I blurted out to Kay during one of our MSN chat sessions that I think love is about believing that someone can live without you and you can live without that someone.

Why do we often think that being in love or being married is about not being able to live without that someone? I've also received emails that said we should marry someone we cannot live without rather than can live with. I was still nodding in agreement before I made the contrary blurt.

Maybe, we really should see loving someone as believing that we can live without him or her and vice versa. In one of my earlier random Chinese pieces, I remember writing before that there is no such thing as being incomplete and finding someone who will complete you. At least, not in the way that many of us seem to understand it. We came into life alone, and will very likely make our exit alone. So, where does the person who is supposed to complete you come in? The truth is, we all are capable of living without any special someone.

If I believe that I can live without you and you without me, I know that I am capable of making myself happy. You don't have to be the one to bring me happiness; I am responsible for my own happiness. The same goes for you. If and when our paths cross and come together, we will only share both our happiness and two complete lives, share two complete worlds and enjoy our time with each other. And if one day you have to leave, and take on a path of your own, we may temporarily affect each other's state of happiness but we can't take it away from each other. Because we've always believed that we are capable of living without each other.

I think the most genuine and beautiful form of love is when the other person is taken away from you by death, you still have the courage to live on and probably, love another again.

It's amazing some of the things I blurted out in the end makes more sense than I thought. So, don't tell me you can't live without me to show how much you love me. Then, you probably don't. You probably just need some Prozac.

Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 17:45